Convict, Addict, Alcoholic

my cup runneth over, I need a bigger cup
my luck has drawn a beautiful life,
but DiVinci's would have been prettier
I'm satisfied for the moment, but I'm still affraid
it's just a fleeting moment, in a second I'll be empty
no matter how full, I'll be void
once lived in darkness, where the shadows couldn't find me
now blinded by the light, and shade should remind
of another time and place, where the hole was even bigger
and swallowed me and everything arround
where we found nothing, searched and searched
only to destroy, and then destroy even more,
bits to pieces to ash to dust to atoms to protons
then quarks, and leptons, and nothing
trying to be the creator, or the Creator
only leaving Crators, the size of the Infinite
inside a small man
but why is today no different? Why do I see but do not feel
do not know deep with in? enough is still not enough.

Ok, so I think I got a couple(well exactly 2) emails in the past 18 months letting me know I'm missed. So if my extrapolation calculations are correct, based on the number of people who didn't email me, I'd say about 30,342 people wanted me to return but were too lazy to write. And I can't let that many people down. I don't have a clue as to where I left off, so I'll just live in the moment. I'm now 31, been married for 18 months, now own a house, and have really good credit score, been sober 6 Years, 1 month, and a few days, and been at the same job for close to 4 years. Life is really cool. I went to a treatment center meeting that I chaired for the first time yesterday, and it was very cool. I was the only outside AA there, so I was forced to socialize with the clients, and it really brought me back. In fact, the guy in charge of the house was names George, and 6 years ago, I was in a Half-way house, run by a guy named George. George was my first Sponsor, but he made me wait till I had close to a year sober before I did my first inventory, that sucked, but then I fired him and got a cool bitter old timer for a sponsor, fired him too, but he was a lot of fun for a while. (Are you all sure you want me writing again? I just ramble what I'm thinking, so I don't see how this is supposed to help, but if the ranting and non-sequitors do it for you, well then who am I to judge?) I think I'mmsupposed to be helping put away the groceries. Talk to you all later, hopefully tomorrow. Peace, love, and assorted good shit be with you. -H.