tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-56373992007-07-14T17:36:10.878-07:00Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comBlogger75125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1166620504130966952006-12-20T06:14:00.000-07:002006-12-20T06:15:04.143-07:00

my cup runneth over, I need a bigger cup my luck has drawn a beautiful life, but DiVinci's would have been prettier I'm satisfied for the moment, but I'm still affraid it's just a fleeting moment, in a second I'll be empty no matter how full, I'll be void once lived in darkness, where the shadows couldn't find me now blinded by the light, and shade should remind of another time and place, where

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1165888789177863462006-12-11T18:50:00.000-07:002006-12-11T18:59:49.186-07:00

Ok, so I think I got a couple(well exactly 2) emails in the past 18 months letting me know I'm missed. So if my extrapolation calculations are correct, based on the number of people who didn't email me, I'd say about 30,342 people wanted me to return but were too lazy to write. And I can't let that many people down. I don't have a clue as to where I left off, so I'll just live in the moment.

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1110980231026185942005-03-16T06:35:00.000-07:002005-03-16T06:37:11.036-07:00

Morning Prayers 11th step God, please direct my thinking, especially divorcing it from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives. . . . God, as I face indecision today and can not determine which course to take, I ask for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision. Please help me to relax, take it easy and not struggle. God, please show me all through the day what my next step is to be,

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1110124112771574042005-03-06T08:48:00.000-07:002005-03-06T08:48:32.773-07:00

http://www.turningleafpress.com/AAslogans_collection.html

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1102629686724466012004-12-09T15:00:00.000-07:002004-12-09T15:01:26.723-07:00

well I just want to keep this damn thing alive, so I gotta post to it every once in a while. Peace to all my peeps out ther in revocery. see you in san carlos. www.waypaa8.org. much love and what not.

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1086751074239031242004-06-08T20:11:00.000-07:002004-06-08T20:17:54.240-07:00

OnTheEmmis.com Wow I thought, "geeze, resenting a treatment center is about the dumbest resentment I can think of." And I've spent hourse of wasted energy wanting to figure out how to "get back" at them for... well, getting me sober? "this is so fucking stupid" I told myself. "what are you so afraid of?" 4 column inventory, 5 column inventory, amends, sponcee after sponcee with the same

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1086228848676582612004-06-02T19:06:00.000-07:002004-06-02T19:14:08.676-07:00

So I went to ICYPAA 47 in orlando Florida this weekend and it was awesome. Alcoholics anonymous is alive and well and the Young People in AA crew represented 2200+ strong. The spiritual speaker Tommy D. hit me so fucking hard it was awesome. I felt the message of AA in me heart, I had had no sleep the night before and I had to look around to see if anyone else was crying. A few were so I felt

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1083620319674288642004-05-03T14:38:00.000-07:002004-05-03T14:41:35.250-07:00

i'm just bored and undiscaplined. I have a girlfriend now, thank fucking god. so I'm not motivated by so much fucking lonliness. She's actually fucking too cool. I realy like her. has isues like all the rest but she's cute, smart, funny and likes ME!. anyway sorry if you've quit reading me. maybe i'll write more frequently, doubt it but maybe. oh and I'm still sober! don't know how many

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1075944039706136062004-02-04T18:20:00.000-07:002004-02-04T18:22:21.076-07:00

Ok so I just love that song, it's Fuck It by Eamon. Rules totally. Any way I just checked my comments and wanted to get back to Alissa. I hate most meetings, or rather I just don't fucking like them. I used to love going to meetings, then I started listening to this Joe and Charlie Big Book study and started reading the book myself. I started listening at meetings a hearing so much being

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1075920522360274242004-02-04T11:48:00.000-07:002004-02-04T11:50:23.170-07:00

Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses, it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back Fuck what i said it dont mean shit now Fuck the presents might as well throw em out Fuck all those kisses it didnt mean jack Fuck you, you hoe, i dont want you back

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1074876006091556502004-01-23T09:40:00.000-07:002004-01-23T09:41:34.920-07:00

So i'm like so fucking frustrated at work. The two people on either side of me make half the calls and sell twice as much. I was like, "I don't get it." Then it hit me, L. has been in sales for years, and R. has been in corporate america for a long ass time as well. No shit they're ahead of me, they realy do know what they're doing. I on the other hand used to sell drugs. What the hell do

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1074782107499263422004-01-22T07:35:00.000-07:002004-01-22T07:36:35.653-07:00

problem = howard solution = God any questions?

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1074700368610135892004-01-21T08:52:00.000-07:002004-01-21T08:54:15.090-07:00

just another day. wen to the gym this morning, all planned out to shower there and leave for work. Worked out great, saved an ass load of time. will do again. also should try to go to a meeting today at like 5 or 5:30. would be good for me I'm sure. Got a ride the pony now that I found it. peace.

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1074605022087474092004-01-20T06:23:00.000-07:002004-01-20T06:25:07.873-07:00

Went to the Gym, great work out, just legs. 6:20 am, asking God to challenge me today. Put me in an environment where I can grow and change to become more like who he would have me be today. I have not surrendered out of virtue but of desparation. I am not lonely or disconnected, yet I would say somewhat blocked. And God's energy would be a welcome presense to course through my entire being.

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1074531018537151912004-01-19T09:50:00.000-07:002004-01-19T09:51:43.903-07:00

I'm glad these blogs are free. I haven't written in a while and it would piss me off to have been paying money for something I'm not using. Anyway, glad to be back. Still single, a bit lonely but not too bad. Things really are going well. Some friends and I started a Steel on Steel group last night. If you're not familiar with the format let me know and I'll email it to you. It's a really

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1069876939886843322003-11-26T13:02:00.000-07:002003-11-26T13:02:51.890-07:00

Well I spent a good two hours in court today. Plead not guilty, talked to the prosecuter, and got the charges droped to a standard civil trafic violation. End result is my dumb ass had to shell out $266 of my not so hard earned money to pave a fucking road or whatever the hell it is they do with our money. I am truly a moron though. I mean that was just retarded, irresponsible, and all

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1069733287566055912003-11-24T21:08:00.000-07:002003-11-24T21:11:44.966-07:00

well thank you to L. for writing to me and waking me up. I have just been feeling sorry for myself and busy at work. I can realy be such a baby. Let see things that have happened since I last wrote: 1. Got a criminal speeding ticket doing 72 in a 45. this one should be quite the pricey lesson. go to courtt wednesday and will fill us all in. 2. got pissed off and resentful yet again at a

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1067969034333719362003-11-04T11:03:00.000-07:002003-11-04T11:03:52.980-07:00

Hurrah!! Of all the infamous injustices of the US government; this one was on the top of MY list. Free Ricky!

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1067960370033886422003-11-04T08:39:00.000-07:002003-11-04T08:39:28.343-07:00

What the fuck is wrong with this country? Ephedra deaths The FDA is all over 80 fucking ephedra related deaths yet we still have easy access to the two leading causes of death when it comes to unnecessary shit in our lives. That is fucked up. Hell cheese burgers kill more people a year. And I'm not an ephedra fan, I don't use it at all, it's not part of what I do, but still pisses me off

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1067874050788617802003-11-03T08:40:00.000-07:002003-11-03T08:40:49.056-07:00

Here is an email I sent to R, she's struggling right now, I hope this can help anyone who comes accross my site. I went to a memorial service on Saturday for one of my best friends. His older brother was 22 and died of a Heroin overdose last Friday. Friends and family all pulled together last weekend and did car washes on Saturday and Sunday to raise money for his service. It was beautiful

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1067444776366535342003-10-29T09:26:00.000-07:002003-10-29T09:26:15.456-07:00

whateva man. Life is just moving on. I don't get it. I don't know if God is this directing guiding being that has a personal interest in my life, or if it's like Tao and energy and a guiding force that gives strength to stay ok through the hard times. I can't really see the "I'm GOD and I'm in charge of your life", but I can sense the Presence of something. I like the prayer "God remove

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1066422311459112632003-10-17T13:25:00.000-07:002003-10-17T13:25:11.276-07:00

she asked me to write her a poem and this is what I said: I met girl, just the other day, she was more than I expected, more than I could be seemed so hurt yet brave, as she stood with wanting eyes longing for something more, something she deserves something that she's given away, and wonders why it's not returned if only she could see, the past is holding on but it only holds

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1066413076876085262003-10-17T10:51:00.000-07:002003-10-17T10:51:17.090-07:00

I never write when everything is ok, it's just too boring. So r. and I have been talking eachothers clothes off. Emailing back and forth too the point where I'm about to explode. We talked on the phone for over an hour last night. I just dig the shit out of her. her man neglects her a treats her like shit, I think it's ok for her to have someone like me on the side. I am so sick, for some

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1066324254416691252003-10-16T10:10:00.000-07:002003-10-16T10:10:54.426-07:00

I have to switch gears. It's tough. See when I thought something cool was going to happen with R. I was focused on her and kinda having the other two as backup plans, now I have to put her on the back and focus on the other two without ruining any future ops with R. See I've never really done this whole dating thing, like ever. I've just had a girl friend and then none, and then a girl, and

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5637399.post-1066323730210689262003-10-16T10:02:00.000-07:002003-10-17T10:46:11.063-07:00

God is fucked up, yep damn sure he's a sicko. I mean I never see it untill it's too late. No I'm just kidding. I am just frustrated by being single, being ok with it, then having women come on to me and then go away. I should elaborate. I'm a spoiled bitch. See I went out with K. twice and now we're going to spend the day together on sunday. J. hooked me up with her friend and I'm going

Howardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02569412983259978830noreply@blogger.com