Convict, Addict, Alcoholic

Ok so I just love that song, it's Fuck It by Eamon. Rules totally. Any way I just checked my comments and wanted to get back to Alissa. I hate most meetings, or rather I just don't fucking like them. I used to love going to meetings, then I started listening to this Joe and Charlie Big Book study and started reading the book myself. I started listening at meetings a hearing so much being shared on the problem and not the solution. meetings have turned into the solution and group therapy sessions. people have started to intellectualize their recovery. I have little doubt that my sobriety has anything to do with thinking about jack shit. I'm sober today because I'm willing to let God keep me that way. I tell him to show me what he wants me to do and to help me be willing to do it. It pisses me off that there are hundreds of thousands of short timers in the fellowship poisoning us with their treatment center frothy emotional bull shit. I lost the power of choice, i was fucking insane, no one in their right mind gets robbed at gun point in dope deals 3 times, arrested 4 times, gets locked up for a year and a half, goes through 7 treatment programs, and then still uses. no one, in their right fucking mind. That being said, I really think that people who can still choose to stay sober should choose to do it somewhere else. I go to meetings to carry the message, THE message of recovery. "that God could and would if he were sought" seek god, seek him, her, it whatever with the desparation of a drowning man(or woman, or cat or whatever). The steps are tools and guides to spiritual progress, the steps are not God, sponsors are not gods, meetings are certainly not "Good Orderly Direction". "Let's manage our circumastances or deal with everly little situation that comes along" fuck that my sponsor says "I got high because I woke up", now that I relate to, the only thing that was the same each time I used was the fact that I was awake, I couldn't not use. That means I'm the problem, not life or life's situations. Here was the arrangement I was taught "you get to stay out of jail, sober, free from the bondage of addiction, get your life together and experience life to its fullest, all you have to do to make payments on this new lease on life is quit being so fucking selfish and help others." I go to meetings so I can tell those sick selfish dimwits to get the fuck out of the meeting and go sponsor someone. I meet people and they're like "I have ... years sober" and i'm like "how many sponsees do you have" .."er well", "er well fuck you you selfish prick, go fucking help someone, would you be here if someone didn't 12 step you?" I could give a shit about your time sober, I wanna know who the fuck you are by what you do, not what you have. any way, I hope this has been a friendly and useful rant, love to all the people out there in the world today, make sure you get the most out of today, you can never get it back.