Convict, Addict, Alcoholic

Well I spent a good two hours in court today. Plead not guilty, talked to the prosecuter, and got the charges droped to a standard civil trafic violation. End result is my dumb ass had to shell out $266 of my not so hard earned money to pave a fucking road or whatever the hell it is they do with our money. I am truly a moron though. I mean that was just retarded, irresponsible, and all together stupid. I wasted time, money, emotion, ughh. Well I hope I learned my lesson.

Met with the new sponse yersterday too, he's kick ass. I'm getting started going through a workbook called the Big Book awakening, I am looking forward to a thoughough spiritual roto router. I could realy use a good flushing of all this crap that's been festering. I'm sure it's alot of the same shit I can't see, like resentments, fear, and general selfish prick shit. not to say I'm a bad guy, i'm not. I'm just a work in progress. made great strides, but I know that i've only mad a begining, and I can see that I'm further ahead in my recovery than alot of people who don't take this shit seriously, but I don't want what they have, it's the guys and gals with 20 years that have what I want. so i want to do whatever it takes (well within reason of course, have to have measure something, god forbid i should surrender every area of my life completely) to get to where they are. any way. happy thanksgiving, i'm ungreatful for everything in my life, yet I will live, laugh, and love today, oh, wait, maybe I am greatful, fuck, GODDAMIT!