Wednesday, August 06, 2003
Day 1016 - I woke up with this overwelming feeling of loneliness and dispar again. I really hate it. It's a rather dibilitating pain. I had a really good night. I do well when I'm around people and even relaxing at the end of the day, but when I wake up I'm just totally fucked up. I got on my knees (something I don't normally do when I pray) but I just hurt so bad. I don't want to cry at work, but seems to be the case. Pit of emptiness I feel inside, just go the fuck away. For real, I don't think this is very fair. I understand I shouldn't even be a free man, but emotions don't seem to have a very rational approach to their timing or intensity. Shwew... I am going to get over her. See I know it's not her but the idea of her that really hurts. It's the whole girfriend is a status of success, sex equals love, if you're physically intimate with me I must be someone special in your life. I will trudge on.
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